MOVIES - PIRATES 1996

• ADULT: Conquest (1996)

• Derniers pirates, Les [aka Last pirates, The] (1996)

• Muppet Treasure Island (1996)

• Return to Treasure Island (1996)

• Ritorno di Sandokan, Il [aka Return of Sandokan, The] (1996)

• Treasure Island (1996)

ADULT: Conquest (1996)

Directors: Brad Armstrong and Greg Steelberg

Writers: Greg Steelberg (story and screenplay, as Greg Steel) and Brad Armstrong (screenplay) 

Cast: Jenna Jameson [Rachel Thorne], Vince Voyeur [Capt. 'Calico' Jack Ransom, as Vince Vouyer], Shayla LaVeaux [Anna - Rachel's friend], Alex Sanders [Dutch], Juli Ashton [Lady Louise], Brad Armstrong [Sir William James], Asia Carrera [Princess Jade], Tom Byron [Blackheart Pirate], Kia [Island girl #2], Alex Dane [Island girl #1], Missy [Barroom wench #2], Mickey G. [Blackheart Pirate], Sahara Sands [Barroom wench #3], Dic Tracy [MontyBobby Vitale [Blackheart Pirate], Claudio [William James Pirate], Sean Rider [William James Pirate, as Sean Ryder], Wayne Crews, Fozzie, E.Z. Ryder [Thatch Crew Survivor], Jim Steel, Lee Garland [Prince Charles], Angus MacDuihne [as Angus MacDuibhne], Canmore McBaine [as Canmore McBain], Jim Enright, Olo Tuinei [Headhunter], Randy Christian [as R. Andy Christ], Anthony Crane, Clarke Irving [as Clark Irving], E.C. Garcia, M.C. Garcia, James S. Mitchell [as James Mitchell], Julie Rage, Paul E. Haug [as Paul Houg], Mark Kulkis, Lionel Jackson, Michael Caine [as Michael 'nova'Caine], Duke Taylor, Ben Bennett, Erik Walter, William Knight, Corbett School, Mike Waymann, Floyd Hardwick, George Kaplan [Presiding Officer at Hanging], Caesar Kildare, Pat Morgan, Terry Garland, Addem Hawthorne, Mark Davis [Blackheart Pirate], Michael Wheatley, Bruno, Brett Moses

Storyline: The daughter of a pirate who was murdered by an infamous privateer teams up with a pirate captain, whose wife was also murdered by the same man, to avenge her father's death. Pirate Captain Jack "Calico" Ransom (Vince Vouyer) is searching for his lover's killer to seek revenge when he ends up taking on stowaway Rachel (Jenna Jameson), who is seeking the same man to avenge the death of her father by his hand, and her friend (Shayla LaVeaux). Meanwhile the Prince of England hires the blood thirsty William James (Brad Armstrong) to remove Calico Jack and his pirates from the sea so his ships can safely sail the high seas. Conquest is a good example. Our lovely tale of lust and torn bodices starts with a hanging. John "Dutch" is about to die for his crimes as a pirate. Sentenced to hang by his neck until dead (Does anyone just hang by the neck until uncomfortable?), John is rescued at the last second by his Captain, his fellow crewmen and the timely intervention of a chick with big tits. Naturally, no good deed goes unpunished, and we are treated to watching the crown prince (hilariously overplayed to perfection by somebody who deserved more credit) rant & rave about "Blackheart", our hero. Speaking of our hero, he and his crew are resting in the Batcave before setting sail. Captain Steubing receives a navigation chart and instructions to meet up with the rest of his crew at an uncharted island. Instead of thwacking the guy over the head for giving him a chart and instructions for an uncharted island, he wanders off to brood over the loss of his family. Nobody really seems to care (he wasn't exactly the life of the party) and continue to prepare for the high seas by ravishing the bar wenches. Remember the rescuer with big tits from the execution? Her name is Rachael, and she's followed our illustrious captain into the tavern, but she ends up on board his ship for some odd reason. In fact, much of what she does in this film is pretty odd. After sneaking into the captain's cabin and admiring the furniture (namely by seducing her partner in surveillance on the sofa) the dynamic duo are discovered by a member of the ship's crew. Holy sexual favors, Batman! The first mate discovers that Rachael has the mark of another pirate, Henry Thatch, tattooed into the back of her neck, and he is about to kill her for being a spy, when we learn that she is his daughter and she ran away. What the fuck? Who tattoos their kids? What's wrong with dog tags? Anyhow, Rachael and her trusty sidekick (hereafter referred to as the Babe Wonder) decide to get back to their Shakespearean roots and dress up like men. The Dynamic Duo then join the pirate crew as they make their way to their secret island lair in the Caribbean. Upon arrival on the island, they are greeted by the peaceful natives, and made to feel welcome. Well, they feel some other things, too (nudge nudge, wink wink). But not all is well in paradise, as some of the crew plots against their captain and the two top-heavy crewmen, who strangely never need to shave. Let's not forget the effete prince who sent a Pirate hunter out to get some head from our hero in a decidedly unpleasant fashion and the budding romance between our beloved rescuer with big tits and the Captain. From this, we see fistfights, swordfights, backstabbing, betrayal, loss, love, revenge, redemption and sex on the beach!

[Video - 115 min - Adult - English - Color - USA - Wicked Pictures, Adam & Eve Productions]

 

 

 

 

Derniers pirates, Les [aka Last pirates, The] (1996)
[TV Documentary - 51 min - Documentary -French - France - France 3 (FR 3), Interscoop, Centre National de la Cinématographie (CNC)]
Director: Christophe de Ponfilly

Muppet Treasure Island (1996)
Director: Brian Henson
Writers: Robert Louis Stevenson (novel "Treasure Island"), Jerry Juhl (screenplay), Kirk R. Thatcher (screenplay) and James V. Hart (screenplay)
Cast: Tim Curry [Long John Silver], Kevin Bishop [Jim Hawkins], Billy Connolly [Billy Bones], Jennifer Saunders [Mrs. Bluberidge], Dave Goelz [The Great Gonzo / Dr. Bunsen Honeydew / Waldorf / Zoot, voice, as The Great Gonzo], Steve Whitmire [Kermit the Frog / Rizzo the Rat / Beaker / Bean Bunny / Rat, uncredited, voice, as Kermit the Frog & Rizzo the Rat], Jerry Nelson [Blind Pew / Mad Monty / Statler / Corn / Floyd Pepper / Lew Zealand / Pirate / Robin the Frog / Skulls / Butler / Screaming Cat, voice], Kevin Clash [Bad Polly / Spa'Am / Black Dog / Chicken / Fozzie Bear, assistant, uncredited / Lolleyed Pike, uncredited / Miss Piggy, assistant, uncredited / Monkey, uncredited / Pirate, uncredited / Real Old Tom, uncredited / Sam Eagle, assistant, uncredited, voice], Bill Barretta [Clueless Morgan / Blind Pew, hands / Dr. Teeth, uncredited / Pirate, uncredited / Pig, uncredited / Rowlf, uncredited / Skulls, uncredited / Swedish Chef, uncredited / Black Eyed Pea, voice], John Henson [Sweetums, voice], Frank Oz [Miss Piggy / Fozzie Bear / Sam the Eagle / Animal / George, voice, as Miss Piggy], Danny Blackner [Short Stack Stevens], Peter Geeves [Black Eyed Pea], Harry Jones [Easy Pete], David Nicholls [Captain Flint]
Storyline: The muppets are back into action in another movie based on a novel written by Robert Louis Stevenson. Kermit the Frog and his colleagues go on a warfare against ruthless pirates. They also share their problem-solving journey on sea to rescue a treasure.
[99 min - Adventure | Comedy | Family - English - Color (Technicolor) - USA - Walt Disney Pictures, Jim Henson Productions, Jim Henson Company, The]

 

 

 

 

 

Return to Treasure Island (1996)
Director: Steve La Hood
Writers: Harry Duffin and Robert Louis Stevenson (characters)
Cast: Jed Brophy [Joseph Savage], Will Clannachan [Sea Wolf Crewman], Richard Condon [Eagle Crewman], Yacouba Coulibaly [Jonah], Stig Eldred [Long John Silver], Gilbert Goldie [Feathers], Simone Kessell [Coral], William Kircher [Pearce], Alan Norman [Eagle Crewman], Dean O'Gorman [Jim Hawkins], Bruce Phillips [Thomas], Nikita Schembri [Rose Silver], Peter 
Schoenauer [Sea Wolf Crewman], Duncan Smith [Lamb], Jeff Szusterman [Jacob]
Storyline: While being hunted by a corrupt sea captian, adult Jim Hawkins has a second encounter with the island and Long John Silver. Jim Hawkins has been trying to keep his merchant ships out of the hands Captain Savage, an officer who's been hunting down English ships for his own gain. In trying to avoid Savage, Jim ends up meeting a young woman and instantly is attracted to her. However, what he finds out is that she is the only daughter of the man who had betrayed his trust so long ago - Long John Silver. Jim finds Silver retired and mourning the death of his wife. By coindidence, Savage also knows the Silvers and chases all of them back to the island where once Flint's trove was hidden. Will honor and respect win out over power or will Jim's lack of trust in John Silver and his daughter be justified?  
[TV Movie - Adventure - English - Color - Luxembourg | Germany | New Zealand - Cloud Nine Entertainment, CLT-UFA International]

Ritorno di Sandokan, Il [aka Return of Sandokan, The] (1996) 
Director: Enzo G. Castellari
Writers: Adriano Bolzoni, George Eastman (as Luigi Montefiori) and Emilio Salgari (story)
Cast: Kabir Bedi [Sandokan], Mandala Tayde [Lady Dora Parker], Mathieu Carrière [Raska], Romina Power [Maharani Surama], Fabio Testi [Janez De Gomera], Tobias Hoesl [James Guilford], Randi Ingerman [Yamira], Vittoria Belvedere [Baba], Lorenzo Crespi [André de Gomera], Friedrich von Thun [Lord Parker], Franco Nero [Yogi Azim], Jackie Basehart [Sir Burton], Sergio Nicolai, Clive Riche [Alfred Higgins]
Storyline: Dora Parker, an English lady/journalist, discovers that the legendary Sandokan is still alive and well, and she wants to write his story. Again, there are many colourful costumes to wear and treacherous enemies to fight. Twenty years after the original "Sandokan" TV series, "Il ritorno di Sandokan" takes us back to the jungle. The star of the show, Kabir Bedi, was meanwhile 50 instead of 30 years of age, but still convincingly explosive with fists and sabre. The cast is excellent, featuring Mathieu Carrière as the evil Raska, Romina Power as the honourable Maharani, Fabio Testi (replacing Philippe Leroy) as Yanez, and director Castellari brought his favorite actor Franco Nero to play a mystic who gets more wise lines by the script than the rest of the actors altogether. Despite the delay of two decades, the sequel manages pretty well to capture the romantic spirit of the original. It is hindered by the fact Sandokan is on dry land all the time, I was missing the pirate ships on open sea. But under the competent leadership of traditionally minded action director Castellari, this is an entertaining historical adventure like few in the 1990s.
[TV Mini-Series - 90 min - Adventure | Drama - English | Italian - Color - Italy | Germany - Taurus Film, Titanus]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Treasure Island (1996)
Director: Diane Eskenazi
Cast: Elizabeth Daily [Jim Hawkins, voice, uncredited]
Storyline: Jim and Long John's relationship is sweet at times if not developed enough and not quite affecting enough. Elizabeth Daily does an emotive and dynamic job voicing Jim, but I wasn't sure about her accent which constantly sounded like an awkward mix of British and Australian. The animation was not colourful or fluid, for my tastes the character designs are crude and the colours are flat with some sparsity also in the background art. 
[48 min - Animation | Family - English - Color - USA - Golden Films]